Walking in someone else's shoes

 I was cleaning out my documents and I found this and decided to share it on my blog.  I wrote this little blog as a sample for a magazine where they had given me the subject title to write on. 

When I was about five years old I remember watching television and someone saying “try walking in my shoes for a while.” It’s amazing how that phrase stuck with me all my life and I have applied it even as a young child. I learned to be respectful and look at the situation through the other persons eyes and see why they might have reacted the way they had. Whenever I have a disagreement with someone I always go back to this phrase and try to see the situation from their point of view.

Being a parent can be very rewarding emotionally but also comes with a great responsibility to not only provide for their physical needs but to try and instill a good moral sense and teaching children the difference between right and wrong. There is so much stimulation with television, internet, peer pressure, and school environments that is very important to always be watchful and make sure the children are learning their core values from a positive home environment.

 Today’s world is so much more fast-paced and complicated than when I was young. There are single parents, blended families, grandparents raising children and foster homes. No single “family” has the same economic, social, educational, religious, or situational challenges as the next family. Each one is unique, so it is important to teach our children how to react to the differences they see. So how can parent teach this mentality to their young children?

1.      Instead of verbally acting out your aggression such as yelling at traffic, remember your children are going to emulate you and develop future behavior patterns on how to deal with certain situations. So take a deep breath and be calm and teach your children those things such as backed up traffic are not worth getting agitated over.

2.      Praise good behavior when you see your child doing something kind for someone. Make sure they know you value and appreciate their kindness. Just simply noticing a kind act and saying thank you to the child will encourage more of the same positive behavior.

3.      Parents with young children can often feel frustrated and discouraged when trying to communicate. It is important to remember they have not had the same opportunity to learn life’s lessons like you have so be patient. If they don’t understand what you are trying to tell them then rephrase it to adapt to their age level of understanding. Try not to show your frustration in your tone of voice but try and be positive when discussing anything with your children. We often get in so much of a hurry we forget this important fact.

4.      Pay it forward. Allow your children to see you being kind and generous and to learn that we live in this world and need to help others. Give them ideas on how they can help others. Encourage them to hold doors open for people, help their siblings with their chores for no other reason except to do a random act of kindness. Make sure they send thank you notes or make phone calls to people who give them gifts.

5.      Remember children are like sponges soaking up every action and reaction whether good or bad from you. Whatever values you want your children to possess they will learn by watching your behavior.